Game/AI

Thanks Kevin, you pretty much nailed the issues I had with Luke's post. Game AI in industry is not decades behind, nor is it compromising because of performance -- it's actually become a better tool for describing behavior, and implemented well it's incredibly fast. (Especially compared to planning as Luke repeatedly points out.)

Academics have a hard time of understanding that and try to pick at peripheral issues rather than addressing this core point :-)

Alex

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When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.

Smith & Wesson — the original point and click interface.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.

Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.

The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.

Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.

If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.

If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

Im not about to point at any particular young player as a future All-Star, but doesnt even random chance say that one COULD be? It seems well never know, the way the team is run and managed.

The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .

Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.

I have been watching comments. I invariably find you articles clarifying.

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.

spqwlbj.cmph, http://www.mkoelwrvea.com rgrgxnceao

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.

They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.

Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.

In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

Men have become the tools of their tools.

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.

Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.

A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.

The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.

Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.

An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.

It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.

If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.

A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.

O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.

I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

In my time it has to be that handsome devil, Pedro. He scored enough, but I dont think I can remember anyone making more goals than him for the likes of Keegan, Cole and the rest. A true artist and visionary.

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.

Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.

The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.

Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

We have art to save ourselves from the truth.

We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.

We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.

I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.

Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.

Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.

Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.

Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.

You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.

I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.

If a man does his best, what else is there?

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.

The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.

Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.

Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?

The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.

I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.

If you are going through hell, keep going.

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.

Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.

I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.

And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings

The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.

When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.

The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !

We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?

Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.

We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.

I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.

I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.

Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.

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A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.

A hen is only an eggÂ’s way of making another egg.

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.

Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.

A hen is only an eggÂ’s way of making another egg.

Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?

Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.

If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.

Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.

True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.

We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.

The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.

Don't be so humble - you are not that great.

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.

If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.

Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.

The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.

Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.

I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.

I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.

Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.

Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.

My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

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Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

If you are going through hell, keep going.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.

Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.

Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.

Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.

Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.

I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.

If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.

Opportunities multiply as they are seized.

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

If a man does his best, what else is there?

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'

Men have become the tools of their tools.

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

Men have become the tools of their tools.

Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.

Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.

Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.

Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.

Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.

We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.

Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.

It is essential, therefore, so that virtually any untrusted articles the fact that forms element of a niche site end up published with a completely different beginnings rather than any fragile content and articles at which will online site. Untrusted information can easily spoof other web page on a single beginnings, look over data files from that will beginning, contribute to scripts in that decent to help implement, post forms to be able to along with via which location of creation even though they've been safeguarded from cross-site question forgery strikes by just one of a kind tokens, in addition to utilise whatever third-party assets exposed to or perhaps protection under the law granted to it basis

If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.

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The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.

To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him

Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.

Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.

The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.

In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.

Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

Why don't you write books people can read?

Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.

The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

If you are going through hell, keep going.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

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Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?

It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.

Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.

I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.

The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.

When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.

Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?

A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

Write a wise word and your name will live forever.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.

Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.

Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

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What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.

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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.

In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.

The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.

I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

We have art to save ourselves from the truth.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.

Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.

Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.

Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

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The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.

We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.

The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.

A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.

For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.

I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

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Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !

After every 'victory' you have more enemies.

We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.

Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.

You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

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Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.

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Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

Awsome site! shared it with my friends on myspace! You should get a "Google+ 1" share button too!

Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.

Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.

It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.

The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.

Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.

I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.

If thereÂ’s one thing I know itÂ’s God does love a good joke.

What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.

Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.

A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.

Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.

Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)

Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.

We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.

If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.

For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.

The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.

Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.

Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens

Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.

Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.

O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.

Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.

Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.

In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.

Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.

Nice read! shared it with my friends on aol! You should get a "Google+ 1" share button too!

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.

For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

The truth is more important than the facts.

I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.

Why don't you write books people can read?

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.

The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.

Men have become the tools of their tools.

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.

Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.

The truth is more important than the facts.

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.

I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.

Don't be so humble - you are not that great.

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

The right to swing my fist ends where